Um spoiler alert.
Who thought they were gonna go the alien route? Seriously, what the hell Spielberg? Surprising as it was, it was still pretty badass. Aliens + Indiana Jones = All you need now are zombies. Mr. Ford was looking quite old though, and you could pretty much tell that's the only real reason Shia "The Beef" LaBeouf was there. Whenever it started to become a little too obvious that a 65 year old man couldn't pull it off, The Beef stepped in and carried the action of the movie. Which was fine by me. Good ol' fashioned pretty boy. Speaking of which, the Brando reference was so RIDICULOUSLY blatant when The Beef first drove up! I am all too aware that I am a film nerd and most people don't pick up on the old film references I do, so I'll go ahead and give you a side by side comparison...
Brando (From The Wild One):
Beef:
Crazy, no? I guess it could be labeled as an "homage" or some bullshit like that, but I think it's just the easiest way to get the "greaser" idea across. But whatever, he's hot. And, I suppose there is still a portion of their fanbase who grew up in the 1950's and loved the original Indy movie who would understand the reference.Overall though, I thought the movie wasn't completely terrible. But, it seemed like the writer would just write himself into these ridiculous situations, and then have to fall back on one of three crutches to wrap up the scene and move forward....
1. The crystal skull itself. Being chased by a ton of ants? It's cool, we got the skull y'all! Can't understand what your bestie is saying? No worries, the skull will give you the power to... notice that... his hand is moving? That one didn't make a whole lot of sense...
2. Have the crazy dude tell you. This one is pretty straight forward. Anytime they weren't sure what to do, the Ox (Oz? Az? I didn't ever really understand what they were saying...) dude would go all Bilbo-Gollum on them and spit out a riddle. Of course, Indy being Indy would immediately translate them so that us non-adventure-movie folk could understand his gibberish. Plus crazy dude gets to say whatever he wants. If it were the Beef saying all of this you'd sorta think, uhhh how does this greaser know what he's talking about, yo? But instead we're all, ohhh, he's crazy, it doesn't matter how he knows it, yo!
Eww, spider killin' time! Yuck... Anyway...
3. That one dude who's a traitor. Well, no he's not. But he kinda is. Mostly he's just a greedy son of a bitch. Basically meaning they need to explain how those commies know so much about Indy. Where he'll be, how he'll act, what he knows, etc. etc. etc....
But anyway, the movie itself was pretty much up to par with the past movies: interesting plot, well hated foreign groups, and Indy breaking those wacky Archaeologist stereotypes left and right. Plus it had the Beef, so that's pretty alright I guess. Plus aliens! Aliens with CRYSTAL SKULLS! That are MAGNETIC! So much so that even GOLD is suddenly magnetized! (Why was that by the way?) I just wish there had been some zombies and some dinosaurs... Or possibly zombie dinosaurs... I want one movie to encompass all good action/horror/adventure movies for me, which mean crazy adventures, zombies, ghosts, aliens, dinosaurs, car chases, spies, and something that you can never, NEVER feed after midnight. Although I suppose that last one is subject to change...
Anyway, given that they were making a 4th installment to one of the best action/adventure movie series of all time (and with a 65 year old action star no less), basically anything better than pure shit is a miracle. Anyone else remember The Mummy 2? Pure shit.
Hmm, well I think that's about enough of that.
Current Favorites:
Finding the perfect simple shirt for $10 (and buying several). Woohoo!
Today I kept thinking to myself "I wish I could combine GoogleMaps and the RTD trip planner!" and then I found out that someone beat me to the punch! And it was glorious. That makes me so happy.
Showering after camping for 3 days.
Current Least Favorites:
Fiberglass splinters
MTV (ruins everything!)
Spiders in my bed. Gross.
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